Snowman On Fire

Normally this space is reserved for Devils, Yankees, Mets and occasionally a sci-fi or writing reference. But I’m expanding my horizons and frontiers, literally: I’m now a member of the Mike Cammalleri fan club. To be honest, I noticed him two years ago when he was fed by Matthieu Schneider for a goal, creating what is probably the first (and only) all-Jewish goal/assist scoresheet combination. It doesn’t exactly sound like a High Holiday pledge sheet, but it’s true (read The Jewish Sports Review should you doubt my Jewish geography).

After Schneider motored to Detroit, Cammalleri proceeded to utterly rock the record for most points by a Jewish player, putting up 34 goals and 46 assists for 80 points in 06-07. For the Los Angeles Kings, where he didn’t get the benefit of consistently high-scoring teammates. So this year I’m going to be watching Cammalleri along with Anze Kopitar, hoping that at last hockey lights up the Staples Center.

How’s this for a perfect start to the season: Cammalleri has two goals as the Kings knock off the defending Stanley Cup champs, earning first star of the game honors? Yeah, the game was in London, but it was a regular season game. And #13 wasn’t lucky, he was just good. And during Sukkot (for those of you observing) — the “season of rejoicing” starts 5 hours earlier for fans of the black, silver and purple. Camalleri’s sukkah (temporary shelter, in Biblical terms) is lit by a red light. And there is much rejoicing.

What happens when you add Chris Drury, Scott Gomez and Jaromir Jagr together in their first pre-season game? You get a minus five rating. I don’t want to hear about rust, or chemistry, or anything else vaguely resembling oxidation or corrosion. The Rangers stunk it up against the Flyers — the very same Flyers that various hockey print mags have predicted to finish so far down in the standings that they might be better saving their points for next season.

What’s this prove? Probably nothing. There’s a reason the press is referred to as the “fourth estate” (behind the clergy, which would be the Church of Saint Patrik and Commissioner Bettman, the nobility, a/k/a Coach Sutter, and the commoners, also called fans and sometimes bloggers). Maybe the Flyers won’t be so horrible, and maybe the Rangers won’t be as much of a lock for the postseason as previously predicted in print. It’s one game, and it’s still September. But still: Lundquist was in goal, not Montoya or Valiquette. Personally, I’m betting on the Rangers blowing a lot of early leads due to lack of defense.

I’ll admit it: I like dressing up as a mascot. I’ve been Frosty the Snowman, Santa Claus and on two occasions, an Arabian dancer (don’t ask) at various times in an assortment of ice rinks, office buildings and downtown Manhattan subway stations. I am also a rather loud fan, as anyone who has been within a nautical mile of me at a game can attest. I like to cheer. I like to make sing-song phrases in French and Czech, perhaps picking on Martin St. Louis a bit too much and a bit too loudly. I once had someone at the Meadowlands ask me to cheer more quietly, so I switched to more colorful language. In Russian. There were kids present.

What if I cleaned up my act, put on some new skates, and tried to do this for real? Like as a member of the Devils Fan Interactive Team, also known as the Devils Power Players? It would rank up there with my dream jobs of being Stanley C. Panther (the Florida Panther mascot) or SJ Sharkey (in San Jose). So tonight inspiration struck: I’m filling out an application to be a Devils Power Player. Seriously. So what if I’m 45, grey, slightly snowman shaped, and can only list “doing the Hustle in 8th grade” as my previous dance experience? I’m an insane Devils fan. I know hockey. I can skate. I love to make people, especially kids, laugh. I want to see people come to the Rock, and if they come to see what the fat old guy is going to do next, sign me up. Please.

Here’s what my application says:

I have been a Devils fan since thee 1999-2000 season, when my son began to play hockey and we bought into a group of season ticket holders to begin enjoying games together. Since then, we have attended approximately 100 games and developed our own rituals for “game day” involving our jerseys, t-shirts, what food we eat, and when we take bathroom breaks. Part of being a father (and an uncle) has been enjoying my children and my siblings’, cousins’, and friends’ children as they’ve grown up, and I’ve constantly delighted in ways to make them laugh. Few things are as fun for me as mixing sports and family, and I believe that combination is the root of building a strong current and future fan base for the Devils. Today’s fans who are school aged will be the equivalent of my peers who grew up on a steady diet of NY Rangers hockey and remain “blue fans” to this day. I want them to live, breathe and eat Devils red and black, and it starts with making strong memories for them of their experience with the things they can see, touch and hear up close: Power Players, cheers, the mascot, and a game experience that they can’t wait to repeat.
Hearing a young child squeal as he or she gets to play with Frosty the Snowman, or having a co-worker’s child hop on my Santa-colored lap and tell me something they’ve not told their parents (and then relaying the message, so that Christmas is really a miracle for that kid), are some of the best moments I can recall. On the less serious but more creative side, I’ve had signs I’ve made show up on CN8 and ESPN; I’ve thrown a rubber chicken into the ESPN court-side shot (at a March madness game); I’ve hollered cheers with math phrases, Russian, Czech and French in poorly pronounced rhyme. We’ve printed up “Happy Birthday Patrik” signs in Czech, and last year I managed to convince a friend to come to his first game in 3 years; a long-time fan was re-born.
I want to once again combine sports, cheering, creativity and a bit of ice skating as a New Jersey Devils Power Player. I’m not your typical cheerleader: I’m 45, graying, a bit overweight, but in good physical condition. I make up for that with enthusiasm, love of the NJ Devils, and the ability to create lasting impressions with people that will make them want to come back to see what happens next. I want to feel The Rock shake; I want to see what happens when the house is sold out and so loud that the visiting coach can’t hear his own players swearing on the ice.
I would love to be N.J. Devil, the team mascot, even for a game or a local event. It’s the next logical step after the big man in red and the round guy in white. I’d be thrilled to be a Power Player; if not for the whole season then as an experiment. I’d blog about it; which is sure to generate interest if not genuine attention and attendance. I’d share my entire experience, and provide a view into what life is like as a die-hard fan, much as I do in my public blog. I offer the Devils organization a chance to reach fans of my age and my childrens’ ages; to show that the Devils can have fun and not take themselves too seriously (this isn’t the NFL, it’s hockey!); and to remind everyone why it’s better to be there in person, where you might see someone who looks like the guy who fixes your computer leading a cheer in Section 8.

I’m not hopeful that I’ll hear back, but if someone reads my application and gets a laugh, who knows?

Every year, the hockey press likes to make predictions about the league leaders, playoff matchups and where the break outs will appear. I often wonder where they come up with these ideas — are they attending camps, watching guys skate, and looking at the overall team, or just pulling random numbers out of last year’s statistical pile and then hitting “puree” on their column inch generators?

Let’s start by looking at what The Hockey News had to say in their September 4 issue with “Fantasy Advice” (page 49). I’ll call it more fantasy than advice, and make some of my own predictions, and generally try to keep from laughing at the suspension of mathematics for the sake of storytelling.

Scott Gomez will finish in the top 25 scorers, with 87 points, 63 of them assists. So the Rangers are paying $10M for 24 goals? Granted, that’s twice what Gomer put in the net last year at twice the price, so maybe the math works. But wait, there’s more!! Jagr is also projected to have 67 assists. Um, who is going to score the goals from all of those assists? THN doesn’t show any Rangers in the top 25 goal scorers. Prediction #1: Jagr and Gomez play patty-cake with the puck until Gomez starts making his ill-timed, inaccurate passes and the Rangers lead the league in short-handed goals allowed, unless Gomez’ groin strains again and he gets to watch from the press box.

Similarly, fellow green-seeker Brian Rafalski is predicted to score 8 goals and notch 53 assists in the Motor City. Maybe if he keeps his stick down, and remembers where the blue line is. Prediction #2: Rafalski will be the first defenseman to earn $200,000 a point. And Chelios will complain about him at least once.

Much of Evgeni Malkin’s success this year will depend upon his wingers, if he’s moved to center as THN’s 07-08 Yearbook suggests. Put a pair of young guns on either side and he’s got room to move, pass and score; saddle him with guys who don’t move or pass and he’ll get frustrated quickly. Prediction #3: The Penguins give the Rangers a run for the money and playoff seeding.

The Devils will have a 40-goal scorer, again. Parise, Gionta, or Elias could do it, especially if Zubrus sets up the triangle and keeps the shooting lanes open. Prediction #4: At least one of the Devils’ top lines accounts for 100 goals this year.

I have the one-pager from THN tacked to my bulliten board, right by the free weekend passes (with 395 restrictions) from Avis and the raffle tickets I’ve bought to support various random charities; it’s in good company in the “fantasy” world. We’ll revisit this at the half-way point.

It was a rough day to be a Devils rookie, or someone who wants to be a rookie on the big squad. The Devils booked the ice at South Mountain today from 8:30 AM until deep into the afternoon, and then they took another sheet for the dinner hour. When I popped in around lunchtime, most of the regulars had already departed, and it was a crop of somewhat familiar faces doing breakout and two-on-two drills: Rod Pelley, Dave Clarkson, Mike Mottau, Jean-Luc Grand-Pierre (of double-hyphen semi-fame, sporting #37), Petr Vrana and Mike Pandolfo. Could have sworn I saw Kurt Kleinendorst with a whistle along the boards. It was the “best of Lowell and Trenton” show, with a mix of some guys who have bounced between the ECHL, AHL and NHL.

These guys worked hard today. It’s rare to see professional athletes, at any level, look tired. By 6:00 PM, the four blueliners left skating on the big rink at South Mountain were dead tired. And probably equal parts dead and tired. While they were skating, showering, skating some more, having a healthy lunch and skating still more, I managed to get in most of a day of work, run a dozen errands, and wrap up loose ends for the youth hockey home opener tomorrow night. Anyone who gets a spot on Sutter’s team has most definitely earned it.

While the Newark practice facility remains under construction, the Devils have camp running at South Mountain, open to the public and with the usual assortment of well-wishers, autograph seekers and random skaters. It’s a great feeling to have the horn and tails grace our ice sheets, one more season. As camp opened yesterday, the team signed just about every promotional item the club will need to stock for the coming year: pictures, programs, pucks, souvenir sticks, and perhaps someone’s younger sibling. Check out the photo shoot of the great inking (not just a reference to Colin White’s guns). I am still laughing at the players dressed in jerseys and shorts, or sport coats, ties and shorts. Reminds me of 8th grade graduation pictures, when we were assured that the world would only see us from the waist up in the final product.

After some of that fashion show, maybe the 10-hour skate wasn’t so bad.