Snowman On Fire

Patrik Elias is suing his former agent to the tune of $2 million. This got very little local coverage, aside from this clip in the New York Post. Normally, agent-player disputes aren’t newsworthy, but in this case my eyebrows went up.

Point 1: Elias was underpaid for his first few seasons with the big club. Putting a large percentage of that money into something as illiquid as life insurance is dumb.

Point 2: $25 million (some report $30M) in life insurance? Elias wasn’t married at the time, had no real dependents, and most likely very few liabilities. Certainly nothing that would demand the equivalent of about 8 years’ of salary. Life insurance is sold to generate premiums for the selling agents. Pure and simple. Those premiums of $2.5M would generate some very large paychecks. Especially in the early years; there’s a reason the life insurance salesmen go to “President’s Clubs” in Hawaii and Tahiti while their customers rationalize vacations at the Holiday Inn of Edison, NJ as a fair exchange for peace of mind. Another case of the customers’ yachts.

Point 3: The Merrill Lynch Rule is dead of as May 15th, 2007, having been struck down by a US Court. More formally known as a provision in the 1940 Investment Advisors Act that exempted broker-dealers (who charge commissions for sales of products) from the higher fiduciary standards enforced for registered investment advisors who charge only fees for their advice and counsel, the Merrill Lynch Rule let financial agents get away with conflict of interest. In short, it used to be that if you charged a fee and earned a commission, you got preferential treatment when it came to suitability, appropriateness and the trustworthiness of your advice. “Preferential” meant that you didn’t really have to care about the customer’s interests as long as you sold the product while you had an “investment relationship” (as evidenced by the fee-based wrap account) with the customer, even if there was a conflict of interest. I hope Elias has a really good lawyer on his side.

Point 4: Agents should work for the players interests. Check out some of the other trails left by these guys, including advising Yashin to hold out against the Islanders, and you have to wonder if the Merrill Lynch rule can’t be very broadly applied here.

It’s a shame that Elias gets mired in something like this, especially after a rough playoff patch when he couldn’t find the net. But perhaps this also sends a message to other agents that part of the reason that beer and Hamilton are so closely related in sports venues is due to their self-interests. Fans don’t want large contracts; fans want loyalty, want to see their favorite players stay in one place longer than a single contract term, and want to see their kids have fun without paying through the nose.

Amazing how the Ducks were basically out-hustled for most of Game 5, only to benefit from two fortuitous turns. Detroit missed an empty net with about a minute left, ringing a post and sending play the other way, where the Ducks knotted the score at the end of the rush. After raising his arms in first-goal (in the game, in the playoffs, in his post season career) heroism earlier in the game, Detroit d-man Lelja turned the puck over in front of his own net. The lucky duck Selanne was there (somewhat behind the play, unless you’d like to claim he was agressively forechecking) to scoop and shoot the loose puck. Being out-raced helped in this case, as Selanne probably should have been up ice when Lelja got poke-checked, but no reasonable bounce is out of bounds in the playoffs.

Sitting Ducks tonight? Probably Parros, again. I’m secretly (or not) hoping that the Ducks advance, and Parros gets to lay at least one serious body on the parade of Ottawa’s top linemates. A bit of New Jersey payback, by way of the O.C. (twice, if you count Parros’ first stint in Los Angeles).

With the Devils enjoying an early summer, the Rangers thankfully out of the running, and the work-related Sharks also exiting in the second round, I am running out of teams to cheer for or against. Fortunately, we can claim weak affiliation with the Ducks thanks to former NJ Devil Scott Niedermeyer and former NJ Devils Youth Hockey Club and Princeton University winger George Parros. If so many people from work didn’t love the Red Wings, I’d find a reason to cheer for the Squidward crowd, due to the presence of Matthieu Schneider (the highest scoring Jewish player ever in the NHL).

It’s getting hard to cheer for Parros, though, because he’s been scratched nearly every game of the Conference Finals. I’ve voiced the opinion in these very blog pages before that if Parros was given the chance to play, regularly, he might turn into a solid fourth line wing, rather than the very narrow “goon” role into which he’s been forced. The guy is far from a goon — Pronger is the one who is suspended for unclean play, yet Parros is watching from the press box with him? Attention Randy Carlyle — you might actually need everyone skating to win 6 more games.

If it comes down to Detroit-Ottawa, I’m going to cheer for it to be over in four so the free agency fireworks can begin.

Today was a big day — I ended up on Cory Doctorow’s blog, had my interview with that very same Canadian writer posted publicly on the ACM website and finally can claim to be associated with someone from Canada who is not hockey-related.

Yes, I’m profoundly sad that the Devils season has ended. As many of the Devils said in the press, they had a team that could have gone far in the postseason, and now three seasons in a row have ended with the Devils going no better than 5-5. Could have is the operative phrase, but I’m equally worried about the this team suggestion that somehow this year’s roster is going to change dramatically.

If it changes for the better, I’m all for it. The Devils looked horrible on defense. Turnovers in their own end, lack of a quick break out, and an inability to clear the big guns from Tampa Bay and Ottawa out of the slot. The Devils were clearly out-coached. Not that the Ottawa top line was that much better than New Jersey’s top line, but more than 80% of Ottawa’s goals came from those three guys. Whatever the Madden line was doing to shut them down wasn’t working, and in all honestly, probably wasn’t Madden, Pandolfo and Brylin’s fault. If you keep doing the same things and expect different results, without any other context switches, it’s a sign of insanity. The same thing goes for the attack side; I could count how many shots Ottawwa blocked but it would only emphasize that the Devils attack consisted of throwing the puck toward the net and hoping for a tip-in. Everyone caught on to it after the first few games, and more crisp passing, cycling and quick shots were in order. But see above regarding turnovers.

I’m betting on changes at the blueline. I’m also betting that Lou doesn’t hold on to both of Rafalski and Gomez, and my public opinion is that if that’s the case, Gomez should stay. He had a great playoffs and he scored when needed. There’s chemistry on the EGG line (when healthy) that could promote them into the ranks of Heatley-Alfredsson or Lecavalier-St. Louis in terms of consistent offensive threats. With Brylin on the fourth line for the last game, it’s clear that his stock is falling, so the Devils are short of quality centers. And finally, if Gomez crosses the Hudson to wear a blue shirt, he will be the subject of more fan derision than Bobby Holik. It’s not always about money.

Anybody know a good head coach?

It’s time for Devils fans to put on the foil. If you’re a Slapshot fan you get the reference, otherwise put some foil on your knuckles, pull your favorite comfy chair in front of the big screen, and start hollering for the good guys in red and black to score some goals.

Hard to believe it’s been three weeks since I’ve written. In that time the Devils gave us hope, with a nice dismissal of Tampa Bay, some solid defense and a whopper of a Gomer-goal. Then they watched it slip away due to shoddy defense, strange bounces and a general lack of attack.

Here’s what I think.

I think Gomez proves he wants to stay in NJ. He’s playing hard, coming up with big shots (and sometimes even a goal) when it counts, and if he could keep from turning the puck over, the Devils would have a chance. I hope Lou remembers this, win or lose, in July.

I think Rafalski is pricing homes in Edmonton. Turnovers? Lack of pressure? He looks like he’s mailing it in half of the time. Not to put all of the blame on Rafalski, as White looks just as sleepy, and Lukowitch is responsible for more bad icing than a Shop Rite bakery’s remaindered goods department. Hello, defense? Hit somebody. Move the puck. CLear the low slot. Stay at home, and make it count. As the Under Armour ads say, “Protect this house.” Or else Saturday will be the last hockey game that house sees.

I think Jamie Langenbrunner might be the next Claude Lemieux. I hope he gets the angry veins popping out of his neck, there goes the quiet Minnesota boy kind of fire in his butt that he can convey to the rest of the team. He’s John Belushi in Animal House crossed with the weird Jimmy kid who made the killer shots in Hoosiers.

I think Patrik Elias needs to show why he’s wearing the “C”. C’mon, Patty, one goal in nine games? Assists are good, but after eight — yes, eight — shots in Game 4, there wasn’t a single goal to show for it. Don’t be so fancy, just fire the puck at the net. As we tell our teenage baseball pitchers, don’t aim, just fire it in there.

In a possible bad combination of superstition, karma, and swag, I’ll be on a plane to Japan while the game is in progress, and won’t know if the season continues until the wee hours of Sunday morning. But I’ll have on the lucky t-shirt at 35,000 feet while the Bubba will be there to cheer in person. Maybe I’ll even put on the foil, if I can convince the Japan Air Lines flight attendants that it’s not a weird American thing. Well, it is, but it’s what I think that counts.