Snowman On Fire

There are brooms on Broadway tonight and it’s not for a ticker tape parade in honor of the Rangers. The $10 bet I placed for a certain friend (sorry, Big D) was good money after bad hockey. Never been so happy to lose a Hamilton.

Devils 4, Rangers 2. Devils win the series 4-0, and are the only NHL team to sweep their first round opponents. Patrik Elias now leads all scorers with 11 points. I’m happy that I don’t need my tickets for home games 3 and 4 for this one. I’m happy that we’re looking at a few days off. I’m so happy I might buy the Sunday Star Ledger tomorrow.

Here’s what I wish:

Sharks-Devils, folks. You read it here first. You think Scott McNealy retired if the Sharks aren’t going four rounds?

Phonetic phun with Dion Phaneuf is the latest phad in hockey coverage. The big Calgary rookie has turned heads — both sportswriters and some unprepared opposing wingers who were on the wrong end of a phreakin’ hit. Last night, though, Phaneuf was a playoff rookie, and it showed. Certainly his goal late in the 3rd period that brought Calgary to within a shot got a spur under the Saddledome fans, but it was his decision to pinch in and finish a check earlier than led to the 4th Anaheim goal. Check the replay: Phaneuf came in to about the hash marks to play the body, not the puck, a shovel pass went past him, and the Ducks scored on the resulting two on one. Dion foofed.

To be phair, the Ducks were phlying. Nieds had a short-handed goal, showing some of the speed that’s earned him “fastest skater” honors at NHL All-Star Games (when there were such things). Lupul was lightning phast. And even Vitaly Vishnevski showed some some phlash. (Note to readers: we have a special soft spot in our household for Vishnevski, because that’s what we believe my wife’s family’s name was back in the Old Country. Not that we think we’re related, but it’s good copy).

So, a request for writers and editors everywhere: let’s get the “f’” back to reality. I mean, I only know two other people with “Dion” as a first name, and both use a better phonetic spelling. One is a professional athlete (I don’t know him personally); the other is a hockey mom (and her husband is the source of much game-used swag, but that’s a story for a different time). Time to cut out the foofy stuff.

As has been the case for the past few weeks, I’m on the way to California. Cranking up the Audioslave - Out of Exile on the tune machine, and reading email in the airport lounge, I spot today’s Star Ledger with our dear Patrik on the banner, his second front-page appearance in less than two weeks. Inside, there’s a half-page mini-poster of Elias, and once again there’s a foot of column inches dedicated to singing his praises. This is all great news - after all, the Star-Ledger incorrectly identified Devils D-man Brad Lukowich in a picture last week (he was listed as Richard Matvichuk, who was scratched for that game, making him an unlikely assist on Patrik’s goal).

Way cool. Suddenly NJ is the Elias Sports Bureau, but with better accents and pronunciation. Sunday’s Star Ledger had Elias coverage worthy of a Giants game (a Giants win, even), today he gets his own poster, and who knows what’s next? Polite coverage from Sports Illustrated (I won’t hold my breath)? Cover of ESPN: The Magazine?

Time out. As my late grandmother would say, “No ken-a-horas“. No early blessings, not even for Saint Patrik. Tonight is game two of the Rangers series, and what we saw yesterday (for those of us glued to OLN) was that the visitors went four-for-four, kind of an inverted Buffalo effect (at least when measuring Super Bowl wins). Tonight we hope that Buffalo inverts a streak again, holding off the Flyers, and that the Devils keep the home teams on top, sending the series back to the World’s Most Famous Arena where the Rangers and other circuses play.

However, if Patty turns in another superstar performance like Saturday’s effort, maybe it’s time to fix some spelling. There’s no “c” in Patrik, but there should be one above the left Devil’s horn on his jersey.

Game one commentary, literally, “Elias is the best”. At least the number 1 star of the game, for being part of every one of the Devils’ six goals today. Six points - two by Mr. Czech Republic (Elias, not Jagr, dear readers), and four assists. The Devils even got their snowman (Ken Klee) on the scoresheet today.

It’s only one game, and it was an ugly game in terms of penalties, but hello, Broadway? Discipline? Defense? Taking away the passing lanes? I’m loving this. And I’m only on lucky t-shirt number 1, with a whole shelf ready to go if necessary.

Jagr’s injury pretty much sums things up — he’s out on the penalty kill and takes a cheap shot at Gomez. And misses. And hurts himself. I will admit to enjoying a bit of schaudenfraude as much as the next puckhead, and while I hate to see players get hurt for any reason, this was just plain dumb.

What an end to the Devils’ regular season. After being 19 points behind the Rangers, they win the Atlantic Division title in the last game of the year, in the 3rd period, coming back from a 3-goal deficit. The Rangers lost, the Flyers didn’t matter, and the Devils are given their due: their 6th division title of the last decade.

The game was full of delicious moments, like Gionta netting goals 47 and 48, squarely giving him the Devils record for most goals in a season. Then there was Patrik Elias, putting in the game-tying goal as the clock wound down. And Jamie Langenbrunner put in the game winner, 82 full games after the season started and fans were calling for Lou to trade Lags due to his slow start.

Here’s my recap of predictions, ruminations and commentary:

At this point, the first 82 games are just table stakes. What counts now are momentum and fun. The Devils (and Sharks) have both. The Flyers and Rangers have neither. I’m secretly hoping for a New Jersey-San Jose Stanley Cup, so I have a shot at seeing all of the games in the correct time zone given my work schedule.

It was all there in one big package today: peanut butter and jelly on matzah sandwiches, hand-carried through security at the Meadowlands, to watch the Devils absolutely dismantle the Flyers. We were breaking so many game-going traditions I was a bit worried we might induce the evil eye: I wasn’t wearing my Gomez and Lagenbrunner-autographed jersey, as I just framed it; I wasn’t wearing my Czech hockey shirt, as I wore it when the Devils did a number on the Flyers earlier in the week; we weren’t eating chicken fingers and pretzels due to the Passover holiday.

Sometimes I think all of our little superstitions are there just to be sure we have something to fall on when things go badly. Today was not one of those days. Matter of fact, today was a day of complete and total mishegas — Yiddish for happy confusion — if you were keeping the Devils’ record books. Matzah and mishegas at the Meadowlands — sounds like something brought to you by Mickey Katz.

Some milestones set today:

So it comes down to Tuesday night. The Devils are in Montreal - Marty Brodeur’s home town - while the Rangers play the rather potent Ottawa Senators. A Rangers loss coupled with a Devils win puts the Devils atop the Atlantic Division. At this point, if the Devils win, it doesn’t matter what the Flyers do, but we’ve been saying that all season.

Yesterday was one of those very cool days when things just seemed to go right. Unless you were wearing pinstripes in the Metrodome, in which case they went wrong at the wrong times.

We had our first Little League game yesterday, after losing a week to rain and school vacations. After opening up leads of 11-2 and 15-8, our opponents closed the gap to a few runs in the top of the 6th (and final) inning. Bases loaded, one out, and it was a 1-run game. We got a force at home, thanks to some smart fielding by our first baseman (10 years old) and catcher (recently turned 12). Next ball was rapped sharply back up the first base line, picked up and used to tag out the runner by the same first baseman, game over, final score 15-14. Snack bar treats enjoyed by all.

I wish A-Rod could have seen this, for two reasons. First of all, the sports media widely reported that A-Rod was particularly hard on himself after the Yankees blew last night’s game in the Twin Cities. I can’t fault him for wanting to win, but I can dislike his grimace at the plate. When he came to bat in the later innings of the game, he looked like he’d had a steady diet of pain and suffering for the past week. In the words of Willie Stargell, my original baseball hero, it’s supposed to be fun. Play ball, not work ball, right?

The second reason A-Rod needs to lighten up is that he’s a role model as a Yankees star player. Kids (most kids) look up to him, try to mimic him, want to be him. If he’s faulting himself for not being perfect, what does that say to the 10-year old pitcher who gave up six runs in a half-inning? Sports reveal our character, according to John Wooden, and we should make sure the character traits so exposed are those we want the next generation of ball players to emulate.

Here’s my advice to A-Rod: on your next off day in the Bronx, go watch a Little League game. Go check out the 10-12 year olds on the 60-foot diamond, the batters who hold up their right arms to the ump like Jeter or run their fingers through the infield between plays, dirt like Posada or Cairo. Tell them it’s perfectly acceptable to make mistakes, as long as you’re a team player and always exhibit good sportsmanship. And before anyone dismisses this as wishful thinking, let me point out that I’ve seen Patrik Elias on the little league field fences, watching a softball game, cheering politely while signing autographs and being a good role model. Sometimes it’s good to remember how and why we started playing sports.

Our kids mirror our behaviors, professional or amateur, big league or little league, on TV or in front of it.

Happy 30th Birthday, Patrik Elias. Welcome to unrestricted free agency. Under the new collective bargaining agreement, the age for UFA drops to 30 years old as of July 1st, and Patrik glides in like a Little Leaguer who gains an another year of eligibility under the new age rules.

With last week’s hat trick, and this week’s game-saving assists against Carolina, I think it’s time Lou baked a Patty-cake with a nice (large) multi-year contract inside. Averaging more than a point a game for the thirty-plus games he’s been on the ice, Elias has been the most productive Devil this season on a production basis. Give him the money, the “C”, and maybe help him sign a new signature stick deal with Mission.

Part of Elias’ decision is likely to be based on his teammates. Unlike Scott Niedermayer, he doesn’t have a brother waving from the left coast. However, Elias is without a Czech mate on the Devils. He and Sykora were good friends, even Bobby Holik and Jiri Bicek counted for some cultural coin. So when it’s time to go shopping on July 1st, here’s my wish list for Lou: Sign Patrik. Sign Gomez. Then grab someone else who puts a lot of accents over their consonants, like Sykora (if the blueshirts want to deal), or better yet, Zdeno Chara (he and Elias played juniors together in the Czech Republic). And if Petr Nedved comes to town, I can hope his wife will wave to me from Section 102.

That’s the end of the management musing for the day. I’m going to shower greetings on the other hockey birthday boy in these parts, the #1 Patrik Elias fan who sports his Czech Republic Hockey hat nearly every day (now neatly autographed by Patty, thanks!), and shares a birthday with his hero. My son turns twelve, a Pee Wee in age and not just in birth year measurement. There’s a strange pseudo-parallelism in the chronology: Patrik Elias came of NHL draft age the same day my son starting counting his age. Happy Birthday to both of you.

All of the sudden, the Devils are playing like a team possessed by the, uh, Devil. Or at least by Lou Lamoriello. Nice win over Buffalo, big win in Ottawa and today they took care of Philly in the City of Brotherly Battery-Filled Snowballs. First time the Devils have won in that building since my son was playing Mite hockey. Patrik Elias got his name on the scoresheet with an amazingly pretty assist to Sergei Brylin. We were happy.

Tomorrow, the NJ Devils Youth Hockey Club 16U Team plays for the National Championship in Rochester. You read it here first, folks; Garrett Beckwith is the genuine article. Somewhat ironic that the Devils will square off against the California Wave — Garrett’s father’s team (which coincidentally had my son playing left “D”) lost in a tournament championship to the OC crowd. Time for payback, thinks the cranky armchair coach. Something symmetric involving coaches, fathers, sons and both coasts.

And finally, in the late-night division, the NJ Ice Dragons make a run at a playoff spot tomorrow night. We’re currently sitting fourth in the division, but a win would lock down third place for the playoffs. Yours truly will be making an appearance at left wing and manning the post-game beer cooler. We’re playing the only team on which I’ve scored all season, in our very first game of the year, netting the game-winner with less than 30 ticks left on the clock. Symmetry in other forms, hoped for.